Read Analyze Fix
by Bellesrad
Summary: Donna Paulsen has always known what makes people tick. Her uncanny ability to read them enables her to anticipate their needs and also find solutions to the most unexpected situations. Until it doesn't...
1. Read

_A/N: I've always wondered about Donna's uncanny ability to read and anticipate people's needs. So here's this new fic in which we will explore this skill of sorts. It will most likely be a 3-part story and well, bear with me as we go through different points in her life. Will be K+ for now but might become M later on. I'll let you know when it does. I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think. Here's the first chapter for now. XO_

Chapter 1- Read

The jazzy melody fades and becomes part of the dissonance. A disparity of conversations, the occasional clinking of glasses, and the shuffling of chairs and stools seem to get louder for moments at a time to slowly drown once again as a new song begins to play. The low lighting provides the bar with a rich, warm ambiance and enough intimacy to allow the patrons to feel at ease. While the dark oakwood decor gives it enough class to attract the up and coming New York career-driven crowd looking for a way to network and destress at the same time.

"Donna Roberta Paulsen, you can do this!"

The image that reflects on the large, rectangular bathroom mirror is that of a beautiful redhead, not a single bang out of place, self-assured and looking tall in the expensive heels she'd acquired with her last paycheck. She might not earn much at the NY County D.A's Office but she always makes sure to splurge on a classy pair of shoes.

Well-dressed and beautiful, men ogle her. Witty, intelligent and charming, her bosses describe her as so. Sociable and knowledgeable, is how most coworkers would characterize her. But there is always the complex relationship she's always sustained with the female population, both loving her and keeping her at a safe distance. Nevertheless, her claircognizance and empathy paired with her gregarious nature have been key in sewing any patches of distrust in order to win them over. After all, that was her specialty.

Applying some lip gloss, she gives herself one last glance. Adjusting the plaid short-sleeved shirt with a round neckline and straightening the black skirt one last time, she allows herself an exhale to rid the nerves the same way she does right before an audition. Then setting her jaw and giving herself purpose, she makes her way through the crowd.

She scans the three main bar areas and that's when she sees him. He had accepted a celebratory drink from his colleagues and watches how he hides his distaste for the sweet drink. She knows he hates it, after all he is a man who enjoys bitter, stiff drinks. Cocktails and fruity concoctions have never been of his preference. But of course, she knows that. She's spent the past couple of months studying him from afar. Not stalking. No! Donna Paulsen doesn't stalk. Donna Paulsen reads, analyzes and fixes. And she had become somewhat of an expert on all things Harvey Specter. Well, at least the obvious, because he's not an easy man to read. Behind his tailored suits and loud ties, hide too many layers to peel in one go and a plethora of secrets that can't be unearthed at once. However, one thing she is certain of, is that he is fiercely loyal and devoted to the law, his clients and the D.A.'s office.

And that was enough for her to know that he will soon become a force to reckon.

And of course, she wants in.

Harvey Specter's firm, confident stride and handsome face draw her attention as he makes his way back to the bar. He looks handsome in his well-fitted suit and she knows he is very much aware of it. He has that aura of a man that is used to getting female attention and which has never lacked an invite to share their bed. But she was not here to either give him her attention or offer him company, at least not in that sense. She watches him call the bartender with the familiarity of a male in control of his surroundings; she can also hear that rich, pleasant baritone of his as he orders his drink of choice: Macallan 18. And she uses this chance to approach him.

To say that she charms him with her Donna-ness is a given. Capturing his attention with her quick wit and charm.

"You're not just a pretty face, are you?" He asks and she can tell that he's enjoying the exchange.

And she knows that she has him at her mercy. His brown eyes sparkle with interest and his smile is wide and mischievous. The attraction between them is strong and increases tenfold when they touch as they shake hands. He's getting ready to make a move and she has to tread carefully. He's deliciously attractive but she has to keep her goal in mind.

"No, I'm not," she says and with an air of sober flirtation adds, "so maybe you should buy me a drink and we can continue this conversation in the corner."

He plays it cool when she informs him that she's not interested in sex. And she's vastly surprised to see that he's so forward about it. Claiming that being honest saves time, Harvey gives her his charming smile and drinks the last of his whisky. She smiles right back at him and takes advantage of his confession to tell him what she really wants, which is to work for him. It's his turn to be surprised then, but accepts her explanation about needing to work with someone who understands that this is an interim job and there are bigger things achieve in the long run. In this sense, Harvey feels that this beautiful redhead and him happen to be extremely synchronized.

They are interrupted by a waiter who brings him a drink courtesy of what Donna assesses as a shady person. She tries warning him but Harvey Specter does as he pleases. She knows that she has to let him get burned by the flames. He won't learn to trust her unless what will happen needs to happen.

This is the reason why she's not disappointed when he turns her down. Donna knows, yes she does, that he will come back and beg her to work for him. And that's exactly what he does when he comes searching for her on a Tuesday night at the same bar. She'd even calculated the number of days it would take him to figure it out. That's why she was there that specific night. And it's during her first day at the job that Donna does what she does best and shows Harvey the way she has arranged his monthly agenda and also makes him fall in love with black coffee with two splashes of vanilla.

Yes, Donna Paulsen knows how to anticipate all sorts of situations and how to read people.

Sitting at her desk, looking at him through the glass window that separates her desk from his tiny office, she bites her lower lip and realizes that maybe Harvey Specter is her favorite one so far...


	2. Analyze part I

Ch. 2- _**Analyze part I**_

_Cortland, NY- 1995_

She senses it the minute she walks into her home. Arriving earlier than usual from her Thursday Lacrosse practice and leaving her gear in the mud room, she immediately knows something is not right. Then again, something has definitely not been right the past couple of weeks but she hasn't been able to pinpoint what. Her mother is acting her happily nervous way as usual but it's her dad the one that has been especially suspicious. Initially, she had thought is was that he had once again picked a fight with her Nana. But then again, Nana wasn't even on speaking terms with him. Not since he had lost her maternal grandmother over $50,000 in an investment which had never seen the light of day. And that had been about five years ago…

She can feel the hair at the nape of her neck stand on end while a shiver runs down her spine as she walks through the kitchen and into hallway leading towards the living room. They are talking behind closed doors in her father's study but she can hear the frantic tone in her mother's voice although she can't really make out the words.

Donna knows. She _just_ knows what this means. And she can almost feel her heart stop beating in her chest and her blood run cold in her veins… Jim Paulsen is back at it. He's gambling. It's like a punch to her gut. It fills her with such disappointment...He had promised he wouldn't! After Nana's and then again after taking away her mother's money, the same they would've used to travel to Paris on vacation… She had seen it coming, and she had warned her mother but the love she had for her husband was too strong.

That's when she hears it...

"How are we going to tell Donna? She already got the acceptance letter….Jim, how could you have gambled away her college funds?!"

_Fuck!_ _Shit! Fuck! _She thinks and the feeling of disappointment turns to rage. Not caring at this point she barges into the room almost kicking the doors to the study open.

"What did you do, Dad?!" she asks and takes both of her parents by surprise. Neither realizing that Donna was already home.

"Donna, sweetie…" her mother says in a soothing voice but Donna is too angry to let it go.

She can feel tears forming in her eyes and her face is probably flushed with anger but she needs to hear it from him.

"No!" she shouts and looks at both her parents, "don't cover for him! What did you do, Dad?!"

But Jim Paulsen won't look into his daughter's eyes and keeps his head bowed down staring at his hands which hold a tumbler with his favorite drink, gin and tonic.

This seems to anger her furthermore and she approaches him.

"Goddammit! What did you do, Dad?!" she shouts again and his lack of response sends her into a tailspin. She's walked closer and closer to him and with rage taps the tumbler out of his hands not caring that the liquid spills all over the place.

"I asked, what. did. you. do for fuck's sake?!"

"Donna, watch your language!" her mother warns but her voice is quieter and doesn't really hold any power.

"No, Mom… he's taking the coward's way out. Again! I need to hear this from HIM," Donna can feel the tears begin to roll down her face and she hates it. She hates feeling so weak.

Jim Paulsen's finally looks at her, his embarrassed countenance saying it without words.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart… I'm really sorry," is all he says before looking away once again.

Donna fists her hands and struggles to swallow the sob that threatens to come out. She takes in a deep breath and forces herself to stop crying. Nodding at her mother, who's staring at her with a pained look of her face she says, "there's more, right?"

And her mother looks down but whispers a soft, "yes… we've lost everything."

Donna's eyes open wide and the anger suddenly returns.

"You mean _he _lost it..._ALL_?!"

She doesn't wait for her mother to respond and instead walks out of the study and heads straight for her bedroom. Slamming the door she hastily opens her closet and digging out a weekender bag she stuffs it haphazardly with as many of her belongings. Her rage keeping her going until she's done. Rushing down the steps towards the front door she goes but her mother is waiting in the landing.

"Where are you going, Donna?" she asks, worry etched on her face.

"I'll be at Nana's… I can't...I can't be here. Not now. I'm sorry mom," she says and her mother nods in silent understanding. Giving her daughter a hug, she watches Donna get on her bike and disappear down the street.

* * *

_NY County District Attorney's Office, 2005_

She walks into the small office, places the files he requested and a cup of dark roast coffee with vanilla but stays put. Harvey had taken off his suit jacket earlier and his well defined upper body is encased in a fitted white long sleeved shirt. As with all his dress shirts, she loves to look at the embroidered H.S. that sits on the left cuff. His tie today is a classic midnight blue with thin silver diagonal lines, and she can't help but admire how handsome he looks. But she scolds herself for secretly ogling him. She's here to make a request and quickly puts those thoughts away.

"What is it, Donna?" Harvey asks without looking up from the document he was currently marking.

"I need the afternoon off," she replies and he can see her fidget in place from the corner of his eye.

"It's Friday, Donna. You can't bail on me when we have the Bonifield case to prepare for next week," he says still writing without looking up at her, "I promise you can go to the next audition. Today, I need you here."

"It's not for an audition, Harvey," her voice sounds almost flat, lacking her usual spirited tone.

He frowns and looks up at her, his brown eyes silently questioning her.

"It's Nana..." she explains, "She had a small accident. I want to go help her until my aunt arrives sometime between tomorrow night and Sunday morning to care for her."

He drops the pen and gives her a worried look, "Is she ok? Is she still in Cortland? How do you plan to get there?"

She gives him a smile and shakes her head, he had always had a soft spot for her Nana. Even though he doesn't know the woman in person, he knew enough about the spunky grandma through Donna to almost feel like he did.

"She dislocated her left shoulder. And yes, she's still in Cortland… I was hoping to take the 1:25 p.m. bus and make it by evening. "

"Nonsense! I'll drive you," he says as he reaches back for his suit jacket.

"Harvey…", she slants her head slightly and looks him straight at him.

"Donna…", he mimics her head slant and matches her tone.

Just like that, she knows that she won't win this argument even before it begins.

Reaching into his suit jacket, Harvey extracts a key ring and hands it over to her.

"This is the key to my condo. Get your stuff and I'll meet you there. I'll go sign out one of the cars and be there in about an hour. If we leave by noon we might make it under 3 hours before traffic gets bad," he stops at the door when he notices she hasn't moved from her spot and instead, is looking at him with her mouth open.

"What?" he asks, "My parents live in Boston so this is not my first rodeo, Donna. C'mon, you're stalling!"

* * *

Donna's standing by the window when he arrives and she jumps in surprise, not expecting him to open the door but knock, since she had his key.

"Did you get your stuff?" he asks as he heads down the hallway for what she had already discovered was his bedroom. "I'll just pack something and we'll be on our way," he adds and disappears for a few minutes.

She looks around the well-furnished condo and can't help but wonder how can Harvey afford this place. She's deep in thought when he returns with a leather bag in his hand, dressed in khaki pants and a black v-neck sweater.

"What's that look for?" he asks, humor dancing in his chocolate gaze when he notices the frown on her face.

Donna places a hand on her waist and with her other hand points a finger at their surroundings.

"I was just wondering, how exactly can you afford this place with your salary?" she asks.

He chuckles and drops both his hands into his pockets.

"I'm an investment.. _How_ do you even know how much I earn?"

"I'm Donna. I know everything," she answers but jumps to the next question, "What do you mean by "an investment? Is Gordon, Schmidt and Van Dyke behind this?"

Harvey stalls for a minute as he heads for the kitchen area. Thanks to the condo's open floor plan she can see him reach for a glass from one of the cabinets.

He takes his time pouring some water for himself and offers her a glass as well. He can see that the look on her face tells him that she is waiting for his anwer.

"Yes and no," he answers after taking a drink of his water, "Jessica Pearson from Gordon, Schmidt and Van Dyke is. She paid for my tuition at Harvard and wants me to gain trial experience at the D.A.'s office. Jessica wants me to be ready for anything once I land in the corporate world."

Donna nods but is not looking at him when she says, "she's priming you for battle..." Thoughts flurry through her mind and she won't let him see her confusion.

Harvey can't see her face clearly, only the reflection of it, since she turned once again to face the large windows. Harvey can't understand what her expression means. Instead, he places the glass on top of the kitchen counter and walks towards her until he's standing next to her.

He can feel her agitation and wishes he could soothe it down. After a minute or so, he can hear her breath even out and go back to its regular rhythm. And this somehow helps him find his peace. They're standing so close that Harvey can feel the fingers of his left hand flutter and almost touch hers.

"You're coming along with me," he says, his voice soft, intimate.

He can see her nod out of the corner of his eye and then lets a small exhale leave her lips and turns around to face him. Her eyes have lost the fog that had covered them minutes before, and instead, they shine with her usual excitement. And like that, he can see the sassy, witty Donna Paulsen he knows, return.

"Of course! And if we don't leave right away, we run the risk of getting stuck in the Friday evening traffic."

He looks at her, confused and partly feeling deflated. She had easily and kindly dismissed his words. Or maybe she had misunderstood, he thought.

"Yeah," his voice is slightly hoarse with embarrassment but quickly masks it with a smile, "let's get to your Nana as soon as we can"

* * *

_A/N: Happy first day of Spring! Thank you to do those of you who have read, favorited and decided to follow my stories. It's flattering and an honor at the same time. For now, I hope you enjoy Ch.2 Analyze Part I and let me know what you think. Part II will most likely be out this weekend. XO_


	3. Analyze part II

_A/N: I know this is a shorter update than usual but it's mainly the set up for what will come next. I really hope you enjoy it and well, leave a review. __The feedback, whether a short sentence or a paragraph, is always welcome. -Belle XO_

* * *

Ch. 2 Analyze Part II

_Cortland, 1995_

The warm touch of Nana's hand on her shoulder immediately puts Donna at ease. She's been sitting on the bench under the elm that overlooks the artificial pond set in her Nana's large estate. So lost in thought and wondering what the future might hold that she doesn't hear the soft steps of her dear grandmother.

"What's going on in that beautiful mind of yours, Donna?" her voice sounding very much like an older, wiser version of Donna's. In fact, many often mention how similar they look and sound. But it is the fact that they share that remarkable gift of cognizance and quick wit that usually surprises everyone.

When Donna doesn't respond and instead looks down at her hands in an attempt to avoid her grandmother's gaze, she hears the older lady say, "I'm so proud of you for giving your Dad and Mom a chance to apologize. I think you handled it incredibly well." Nana's clear, prudent tone, so very characteristic of her, makes Donna raise her eyes to equally hazel ones.

"It was the most difficult thing to do, Nana," she says in a quiet whisper.

Holding out an arm towards Donna and pulling her into a hug, Nana kisses the top of her head.

"I feel like I've lost so much: my heart, my love and my life to them," Donna says with so much pain and anguish blending in her voice.

She can hear her grandmother sigh as she simultaneously tightens her hold around Donna's slim body.

"Donna-bear," she hears the childhood nickname Nana loves to call her, "you can choose to see it that way or you can think of it as having given them your heart, your love, and your life instead... It's all up to you."

Donna nods her head and looks up at Nana with watery eyes. "What would I do without you, Nana?" she earnestly asks. Nana's soft smile lights up her world.

"I would like to believe that you would do just fine without me. After all, my spirit lives in yours. And don't ever forget that you and I, we are strong, brave and intelligent women… So what do you say? Ready to go see _A Midsummer Night's Dream_ at the local theater?"

Donna smiles back and hugs Nana again.

"I love you, Nana," she says and hears her grandmother chuckle mid-embrace.

* * *

_Cortland 2005_

He watches mesmerized as the older lady retells a story from Donna's teenage years. He can't help but wonder if Donna will age and look as stunning as this beautiful, alluring older woman. Her luscious hair, set in a loose bun showcasing an elegant neck very much like Donna's, is still auburn even in her mid-60's. But what gets to him the most is the intelligent sparkle of her hazel eyes and the charming smile that never seems to fade away.

"You're awfully quiet there hotshot," Nana teases him as she hands him a cup of coffee. Harvey takes a sip of his coffee and looks up at her curiosity in his eyes.

"You, too?!" he asks in delighted surprise looking from Nana to Donna and takes another drink of the aromatic beverage.

"Of course, where do you think she learned all her coffee-making skills?! Certainly not at _theater_ camp!" Nana humorously said and went to get her own cup.

"Nana!" Donna playfully slaps her grandmother's arm and shakes her head before directing her eyes back at Harvey who was openly smiling at the exchange.

Nana returns with a cup for herself while Donna and Harvey sit drinking their coffee and staring at each other. He has his left eyebrow raised as though asking a question and she gently shakes her head a smile on her face. They all share a quiet moment at the breakfast nook of Nana's exquisitely furnished but quaint kitchen.

"So tell me, Harvey Reginald Specter," Nana interrupts the moment of silence as she places her cup back on the table, "what are your intentions with my granddaughter?"

Harvey looks at Nana, slight shock in his eyes, but recovers quickly unlike Donna who nearly chokes mid-drink.

"Nana!" Donna's voice is higher and the tone of protest is evident but it's her eyes that are the most accusing and Nana just laughs wholeheartedly at their embarrassment.

Harvey clears his throat and his face and voice take in a more sober look and tone.

"Nana, please know that Donna means the world to me. She made a promise to me when she first moved to my desk: she said she'd take a bullet for me and she expected the same from me. And one thing you can rest assured of is that I would do anything for your granddaughter… She's made my life better since I met her and I don't ever want to lose her."

Nana nods and smiles knowingly as she observes how Harvey gives a stunned, speechless Donna a warm look and a loving smile.

But Donna soon regains her composure after his earnest confession and gently dismisses his answer, "Ok, enough work talk… Is there anything you want us to do Nana? Go grocery shopping, set up your room, anything you might need? What did the doctor say?"

"Slow down, slow down… I have the pain medication and the refrigerator and pantry are stocked with everything I might need for the week. However, I do need to rest for a bit. Although I'm grateful I didn't require surgery this arm sling is killing me more than the shoulder pain... It's been an exciting day, to say the least. Why don't you and Harvey prepare dinner while I take a cat nap? You can make our favorite comfort food and introduce Harvey to our family ritual since I won't be able to join you this time, " Nana says as she looks at them and waits for their answer.

"Family rituals and comfort food? I'm all in!" Harvey replies his Cheshire smile wide and eyes sparkling with mischief.

Donna sighs and gives Nana a playful look, "do you think he's ready?"

Nana laughs at Harvey's confusion and using her free hand places it on top of Donna's and squeezes it tightly as she says, "He's not just ready...he's also deserving." Then looking at Harvey she adds and offers him a playful wink, "You're special. I think you will fit perfectly with us..."

* * *

_NYC, 2019_

The night is dark and ominous. Or maybe it's her mood that's making it seem that way.

The crash and break of glass against the wall still ringing in her ears. The force of his voice, desperate, angry... hurt.

He might lose it all.

His license.

His career.

His pride.

She feels guilty.

As she should. It's all her fault.

It's really solely on her.

She's playing with her hands. The fingers of her left hand tracing the fingernails of her right hand. A nervous habit she'd picked up while at one of the many music programs offered while she studied theater. She had trained to become a singer but never fully learned to enjoy it. However, the practice of placing her hands in front of her body while holding her fingers together had rooted from that musical practice; a way to calm nerves and concentrate her voice and energy coming from the center of her body.

Yet nothing could calm the accusing voices in her head.

She had failed.

Failed to read the situation.

Missed every. single. cue.

Neglected the facts that were right in front of her eyes and been unsuccessful at analyzing them with her usual objective mind. That's why the question kept coming back to her like a hammer pounding her already confused and flustered judgment.

_How would she be able to fix this when her heart was too deeply implicated and her mind too obscured by her emotions?_


	4. Fix

_A/N: Three down, one more to go. I know! I promised this would be written in 3 parts, but as I wrote this update it came to my attention that I have just a little bit more to add. For now, I leave you to the third installment which I hope you enjoy. - XO Belle_

**Ch.3 Fix**

_NYC, Sometime between 2006-2007_

She closes her eyes and allows herself to truly feel.

His touch overrules her thoughts.

His body warms the deepest parts of her soul.

His mind conquers and soothes every single one of her doubts.

He is hers.

She is his.

Their lines blur as their bodies blend into one.

She opens her eyes and is met by a gaze that is pure chocolate brown.

Focused.

Tender.

Loving her.

Ruling every single part of her. Mind. Flesh. Spirit.

His strong arms encasing her, holding her, protecting her from losing herself in him.

In them.

Bringing her back to the moment every time she would almost fade away.

Male.

Strong.

Commanding.

Her delicate chest stimulated by the roughness of his well-defined pecs and coarse hair.

Female.

Soft.

Captivating.

Her exquisite hands on his back gently guiding his motion.

The sensual touch burning his skin.

His powerful thighs guiding their rhythm: slow, tender, and thunderingly rapturous at times.

He's stealing every breath and coaxing every kiss from her mouth with his sinfully delightful tongue and fleshy lips.

His hands teasing his name from her mouth with their seductive caress.

Delicious touch against delicate moisture and tender feminine flesh.

Her pulsating, quavering warmth soon enough becoming tremulous, cavernous depths seducing his encased ravenous, impressive length.

Pleasure.

Ecstasy.

Ravished and sated.

Pure bliss coursing their veins.

Rapture and possession.

Surrender.

She is his.

He is hers.

* * *

_NYC, 2011_

Donna often comes up here.

Maybe it's because the chilliness in the air aids in numbing her mind, yet at the same time, infuses her soul with an aura of quiet serenity. Or maybe, it's that even when she's in the middle of this noisy and overpopulated city, the heights drown it all:

the thoughts,

the emotions,

the vision of eager brown eyes focused on hers, taking her in.

Strong, firm hands that had explored and tried to memorize every curve of her body that one time. Kisses, and warm skin, and deft fingers that had woken her body to sensations which had since kept her in an eternal state of awareness.

Hoping.

Longing.

Starving for more.

The brisk fall wind blows again and engages in a whimsical dance with her copper strands. And all the memories and emotions stand still for a moment; her skin and blood, chill. And then with another flurry of icy cold air, they're gone.

Yes. This is why she likes to comes up here.

It helps clear her mind. It helps soothe her heart. It reminds her that this is her life...

Failed auditions. Excruciatingly difficult days at work. Early mornings watching him walk by, another of his loud ties disclosing his late night endeavors.

She sighs and digs her hands deep into her coat pockets. She knows it shouldn't affect her. She closes her eyes and opens them again.

But it does. It does affect her.

And today, it was the world of irritation she had seen earlier in the depths of those chocolate brown eyes of his. Eyes that could easily enthrall, persuade, lure and delight her.

But not today.

Today, all she could see in them was anger, displeasure, confusion and aggravation.

Betrayal.

It is only the deep conviction and understanding that she had no other option the one that helps her deal with the consequences of her actions. She had felt the need to protect him somehow, and he would have to learn to accept it. Even Jessica had told Harvey to let it go, and reminded him that he would've done the same had he been in Donna's position.

It is because Donna knows him better than himself sometimes and can almost certainly predict his actions when he is hurt and confused. She knows that Harvey every so often can't see what lies beyond. The bigger picture often obscured by his views and beliefs on honor, respect and loyalty. A two-way street that he expects from everyone but not always gets.

All which are surprisingly naive thoughts, come to think about it, considering the career path he has chosen to follow. And this time she could see how he had been stuck, drowning in documents while refusing to believe that his former mentor would break and hurt his career as a rising legal star at Pearson Hardman. But she is Donna after all, and she knows what Cameron Dennis is capable of, so she had fixed it.

She hears the door to the rooftop open and close and her breath stalls. He's here. Her heart speeds up and she concentrates on regaining a regular breathing pattern. Pretending to move a strand of hair from her face, checks if the small tears that had rolled down her cheeks when she first got here, were dry and gone.

"Didn't know you had an inclination to freeze your ass off." She can hear the mockery in the tone disguising his nervousness. They hadn't talked since he had apologized, in the usual Harvey Specter way, done in order to get his pretrial ritual. She hadn't seen him after that since he had left the building ever since.

"I guess someone won at court today...," she answers and turns her head to look at him, a smirk on her face. He walks across the short gravel path and comes to stand next to her. He places his hands in his coat pockets, mirroring hers.

Looking down at the gravel, and with a certain nervousness in his voice as though not knowing what to say but trying to bring back their usual fun banter, says, "I noticed your desktop was still on and you hadn't signed out. So I came looking for you... You know, I would have thought you'd be afraid to ruin those expensive heels of yours in the gravel."

She slants her head sideways, trying to regain her composure at realizing he had purposely come looking for her. Her smile is playful and gives him what he wants. Banter.

"You can always buy me new ones…"

"I can?"

"Well, your credit cards can."

He shakes his head and smiles back at her, tilting his head sideways just the way she's doing.

"I knew I shouldn't have given you full access to my bank accounts."

She laughs and shakes her head, "too bad, buster!...I might not be Mike Ross, but that information is saved up here," and she points an index finger at her head, her eyes full of amusement. He nods but the seriousness returns to his eyes and face when he says,

"I'm sorry, Donna… about everything earlier today. You know I trust you and I realize that you only did it to protect me."

She shrugs and smiles at him.

"Sometimes I have to protect you even from yourself, Harvey. You know that I always will, I promised you that once."

They stay like that looking into each other's eyes for a minute until they are suddenly hit by the soft drops of a drizzle. She looks away first and up into the sky which had turned darker in the last minutes, rain clouds darkening the vast space. And in the process, fails to notice how enraptured his eyes become as he takes in her delicate features. Maybe that's why she feels a little confused and surprised when she looks back at him once again. The silly remark she is about to blurt fading from her mind, when she senses the shift in him.

"Join me for dinner at Del Posto," he says rather than asks, while the soft drizzle intensifies.

"Why?" she asks, her voice almost a whisper, unable to look away from his magnetic eyes. As though caught in his emotions, just like that she can see the change in them the minute her questions hits him. Whatever he's been thinking gone, and its replaced by the characteristic humor that he reserves just for her.

"To celebrate you saved my ass," he replies and the two moles on his left brow lift as he smiles.

She sneaks a glance at his butt and raises her left brow.

"It IS a nice ass… It _does_ deserves saving," she jokes and slips her arms through his, which are still deep into his coat pockets.

"C'mon", she says while looking into his brown eyes, whose sparkle had returned once again, "dinner and drinks are on you, Pretty."

* * *

_NYC, mid-2018_

The jazz melody spreads throughout the hallway until it reaches her office. She stops marking the document, her right hand playing with her ever so dependable four-color pen. Donna recognizes the tune and smiles. It's a favorite of his, which he listens when he's feeling nostalgic and misses his dad. Humming the smooth harmony, she enjoys the sounds and closes her eyes as she leans back against her executive chair.

She misses him. Misses their easy going banter, playful looks, and the mischief they used to engage in when teasing Mike, Rachel, and even Louis. She had realized early on that becoming COO would change all that, and she'd been so excited to have more that she'd overlooked it. She often wondered if she would've decided differently had she known that they would lose each other as a result of her promotion. But that would remain unknown like so many other things between them…

Donna listens to the last part of the melody and when it comes to an end, a new one begins. One she had never heard before. Funny how the mind can store so much information. He must have over 300 records there, and they probably have listened to each and every one of them throughout the years. Yet, she had never heard this one before. She sighs, then again, everything between them is in a constant state of change as of late.

Ever since he'd told her about seeing Paula, she's felt as though everything is falling through. And she wishes she could perceive it otherwise but she can't because she feels like she's already becoming part of his past. And deep in her heart she refuses to become so, while her rational mind struggles to explain she must let go. In an effortless dance of sorts, Donna knows that she's losing him. Every passing day a slow, painful surrender…

She stands up, opens the desk drawer and reaches for the leather keyring. Holding it in front of her, she takes a deep inhale and then slowly allows the air to come out in an almost agonizing exhale. He needs his freedom. She has to let him go. Getting up from her chair, she infuses a confidence she doesn't feel to her strut as she steps out and heads towards his office next door. All the while, she gives herself a mini pep talk: You can do it, Donna. You can fix this!

* * *

_NYC, late 2018_

Disengaged.

Alienated.

Forlorn.

Those feelings pretty much sum up how she feels as she gets into the cab late at night after delivering her resignation letter to his desk. She looks up to what had been her home for the past 12 years and she's still too numb, too stunned to cry. She couldn't believe that after all this time, after all they'd gone through, all they had shared… it had all come down to this.

She truly wanted him to be happy. And if happy meant her having to give up all she had worked so hard to achieve, she was willing to make that sacrifice. She treasures their relationship and cares too much about his career. Her love for this man is too deep...limitless. She knew, when she couldn't promise Paula it would never happen again, that she had to find an alternate way to fix it.

But could she really blame Paula for all of it? She doesn't even have the energy to think about it. Donna knows that from the minute Paula Agard had appeared in his life as more than just a therapist, her relationship with Harvey was in a sort of overtime. Kissing him had opened the floodgates to all her feelings. Feelings she had kept quiet, suppressed for too long. It is clear that she can no longer be just a friend. She wants more… Unfortunately, he isn't willing to give her that brand of more. That _more_ already belongs to someone else.

Feeling her heart constrict at this thought, she realizes that maybe she'd been careless in reading his emotions. The cab begins to move and she watches the flicker of lights and human figures blending along the busy city streets. A tangle of sounds and color as chaotic as the feelings that now fill her heart and confuse her mind.

Maybe she's been wrong all along.

Maybe she has inaccurately read him.

Maybe her analysis has been amiss.

Because even though she has always been his,

He has never fully been hers.

And for once, she couldn't find a way to fix this...


	5. Read Analyze Fix Part I

_A/N: I thought I would be able to wrap it up and finish this fic at this point. But there are so many tiny unexplored moments in Donna's life that I want to tap into that it's turned out to be longer than expected. Please forgive me for not being able to fulfill my promise. I do have a Holiday week coming up starting on the 14th so I promise to post, what I hope will be, the final chapter. As always, your thoughts are always appreciated._

**Ch.4 Read. - Part I**

Cortland, 2009

"You're here!," she hears Nana's excited voice as she opens the door to the back patio, "what a pleasant surprise." Her Grandma hugs her and then grabs her face in both hands while looking into equally pretty hazel eyes.

A frown soon appears on her brow as she notices the sadness that riddles Donna's face. Dark circles and a dull ache present in her usually bright eyes.

"Donna-bear… what's the matter?" Nana asks with concern as she brushes her granddaughter's silky bangs away from her face, "who is it this time: your insufferable father, or Harvey?"

Donna chuckles when she hears his name. Even when upset, Nana always says Harvey's name with sweetness, love and admiration.

"Both..." she whispers, a knot in her throat, and Nana's eyebrows rise up in surprise.

"How is that even possible?! Those two are not even on the same orbit," she says as she sits down, a hand holding Donna's tightly in loving support.

Donna sighs and looks out towards Nana's beautiful garden. The leaves on the trees already a mix and match of yellow, orange and red which also carpet the ground. The pond she loves to sit by can be seen in the distance where the late afternoon sun rays frolic and play.

"Dad asked me to present Harvey with an investment proposal for $250,000. Harvey, of course, said no, so then Dad wanted access to my 401k. When Harvey found out Dad wanted to do that, he threatened Dad and said he would legally neutralize him if he dared touch a single dollar from my account…", she says with a little of shame in her voice.

When Nana remains silent, Donna finally looks up at her and finds her lost in thought for a minute or so, until she finally says, "Donna, I know you love your father… but you need to accept that he will never change. He will forever go about chasing dreams and new excitement through his business deals. And I'm glad Harvey was there to stop you from making a mistake…"

"Nana!" Donna interjects but Nana's pointed look quiets her down.

"I'm not going to say that Harvey's threatening tactics might be the best, but he has your best interest at heart. When are you going to open your eyes, your heart, and see that that man loves you?"

"It's not like that between me and Harvey…"

"Then how do you explain that, time and time again, Harvey is always there for you?"

Donna lowers her head and sighs.

"I can't explain it… but our relationship is complicated, Nana."

Nana senses that Donna is uncomfortable and would give anything to stop this conversation so she shifts gears.

"Let's talk about how your father makes you feel then"

Donna rolls her eyes at Nana and chuckles.

"Well, the choices are to either talk about your father or Harvey…" Nana says with a smile.

Reaching out for Donna's hands again, Nanna holds them on her lap.

Donna focuses on the creases and folds in Nanna's hands as her thumbs lovingly rub her skin. The softness of her Nana's hands contradicting the terse look in them, and for a second this makes her realize that her Nana is not as young as she used to be. Looking up into her grandmother's face, Donna can see that the lines of age are far more accentuated and Nana's face seems a little thinner that it did last time she visited.

"Donna-bear," she begins and Donna is reeled back to reality, "people are complicated beings. You, me, your father, Harvey... we all need space and time. I'm not going to berate you for trying to help your father, but I think that after this, you've learned that he has chosen to remain the same person even after all these years; that he will keep on repeating the same mistakes over and over again. That is his choice. And you have no control over that."

Donna nods and is about to speak up but her Nana raises a hand to silence her, signaling she's not yet done.

"Now, with Harvey, you will have to give him some room to figure things out. He's a very assertive man in his field; on a personal level he has much to come to terms with. And opposite your father, he thinks before plunging into anything, but his heart and loyalty are in the right place. He listens to you and values your opinion... That says a lot about the man he is, and I have a feeling that he will need you. Don't lose faith in him, Donna-bear…promise me that."

Donna's eyes meet her Nana's and she can see that her Grandma is being dead serious about this request.

"I promise Nana...I won't lose faith in him."

Nana stands up and pulls her into one of those wonderful hugs that only Grandmas know how to give. And Donna relishes on the love and warmth that this wonderful woman radiates.

* * *

NYC, 2016

They don't talk while Ray drives them to the airport. Harvey is lost in thought while he looks out the window. His jaw set and his face serious. She only takes quick looks at him every now and then, and hopes deep in her heart that he can succeed this time.

Seeing him out of his suit and tie and wearing dark pants and a v-neck sweater is a rarity. One she enjoys because casual Harvey still holds the same power as attorney Harvey. But today is different, and Donna steals a glance once again and her heart clenches with anguish. His eyes have softened and she can see the melancholy take hold of them. And at this moment, she can almost picture seeing him as a young boy: sad, confused and insecure. She has made it almost a rule in her life to avoid holding judgment over others. However, she can't help but think that maybe Lily should've handled the situation differently all those years ago. Nevertheless, today she's here for him and she wants to offer him the support he needs. Her patience and quiet understanding probably the only things keeping him from telling Ray to stop and take him back to his penthouse apartment.

Donna holds his hand all the way to the airport. They don't really touch much. Maybe because it brings back too many memories. Or maybe because it might reignite feelings they have trouble understanding themselves. But today they made a silent truce of sorts and when he had reached out for her hand, she never doubted placing hers in his. Their fingers intertwining with an easy and comforting familiarity, as though they're used to doing it on a daily basis.

She feels him flex his hand and then tighten its hold over her delicate one as Ray pulls up to the gate entrance. He turns his head and looks into her hazel eyes, and she can see the insecurity that swims in that rich, dark brown gaze of his. Giving him a nod, she answers back with a squeeze of her own. Rubbing her thumb over his large masculine hand she can almost feel as he relaxes. Letting out a sigh and nodding back at her, he reaches out for the handle and opens the door.

Still holding her hand he turns and says, "Thank you for coming along, Donna..."

She smiles at him and says, "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

He's about to let go of her hand when he feels that she's still holding him back. Trying her best to communicate the courage he needs, her voice comes out raspy with heartfelt emotion, "I have faith in you Harvey. Don't you forget that!"

Harvey's eyes light up and a smile, the smile he reserves only for her, makes an appearance while his baritone voice softens to almost a whisper as he says, "I won't… I promise."

Letting go of her hand, she watches him step out and close the door. He then gets his bag from Ray, and begins to walk among the crowd towards the sliding doors.

Donna feels her heart constrict with a mix of anticipation, fear and hope. She really hopes he's able to make amends with his mom for once and for all.

The little boy in him needs to have his mother's love back.

The man in him, needs to find peace in order to move on.

In order to be complete.

* * *

NYC, 2018

The night is colder than usual and a wintry breeze ruffles her copper strands as she makes her way through the gravel. She should be careful or her expensive heels won't survive, but she really doesn't care. She just needs to get away before the tears that are threatening to fall stain her face.

She had tried to apologize.

She had tried to fix her wrongdoing.

The cool and distant aloofness in his voice broke her heart into a million pieces. Was she about to lose her best friend? She just couldn't believe how stupid she had been! Allowing her emotions to overtake reason and kissing him had been her worst mistake…

She knew he was in a relationship.

She knew how he felt about infidelity…

But it was just one kiss!

If she could get over it, so could he.

Right?!

The beeping sound of the elevator wakes her up from the blur of thoughts still swimming in her head. It's already late and most of the personnel on their floor is gone. She debates staying in her office and working a few more hours as a way to drown every single word uttered during that rooftop conversation. But she feels too drained and dejected to stay. So she takes out her designer bag, one of the two he had bought that morning after taking her to Nougatine for breakfast, and stashes her laptop and other miscellanea. Grabbing her phone, she heads back to the elevator and hopes she doesn't run into him. A couple of tears had already managed to escape and were currently flowing down her face. Using the back of her hand, she cleans them away and takes a deep calming breath. She is Donna Paulsen. She will not cry…

She presses the elevator button and takes a step back in surprise to see it open so soon. The doors slide apart and she sees him standing there, phone in his hand, only looking up when he finally notices the elevator is no longer moving. Fuck! Just her luck! She thinks and cringes internally at knowing they would have to share the elevator ride to the lobby together.

He looks at her and the hardened gaze she saw at the rooftop softens. Stepping aside, he lets her know it's ok to join him and she does. She watches as he hits the L on the elevator's control panel and offers her a tiny smile before setting his eyes back on his phone. She lets out a small sigh and looks straight ahead. It's so strange to stand side by side and yet feel so distant from each other. And she can't help but wonder if he noticed her wet lashes or if the mask she usually dons to hide her sorrow failed her this time around. Because is she had to be honest, right now her heart feels like it's been shattered and her soul is barely holding itself together…

She catches a glimpse of him through the elevator's metallic reflection and he's no longer looking at his phone. He must've pocketed while she contemplated whether or not her makeup was still intact. He's looking at her and she feels caught staring at him so she looks away thankful that her phone buzzes at the same time offering her much needed distraction. It's a message from the front desk, letting her know that the cab she requested was already downstairs.

The elevator reaches the lobby then and Harvey, the perfect gentleman, signals for her to step out first. If it weren't for the unusual silence between them anyone would say it was just a regular night. And it was not a strange occurrence for the night time front desk attendants and guard to see them walk out together. So they say their usual good nights to them and step out to the frigid streets, the chilly night time air seeping through their coats and into their bones.

"Donna," he calls as she parts ways and heads toward the cab.

She stops and turns around to look at him, a questioning look in her eyes. He walks up to her and reaches his front left pocket and takes out his white handkerchief. Offering it to her and with a tilt to his head, his voice has an affectionate ring to it as he says, "It's late. Let Ray drive you home... I'll take the cab."

The look in his eyes is warm, and she feels the glacial coating that had built over her heart slowly melt under his gaze.

"Are you sure?" she asks, her voice sounding small and insecurity permeating her beautiful features, while she takes hold of the masculine piece of cloth.

"I am," he slowly responds and the ghost of a smile reappears on his face as he begins to walk in the direction of the cab. Taking it is a cue she begins to walk towards the black Lexus town car and holds the door open. Looking back at him, he's about to enter the cab when she says, "Thank you, Harvey."

He nods and smiles openly this time yet his countenance still holds a somber shadow.

"Good night, Donna," is all he says, his voice has lost its aloofness and is back to sounding almost normal again.

Donna only nods in response, a bittersweet smile of her own draws on her face, and she enters the car.

She misses seeing the way his face softens completely and stares at the sleek black car as it fades into the city night.

She also misses the way his eyes become watery with unshed tears.

And she certainly misses the way his heart constricts with the indescribable fear at the thought of losing his confidante.

Losing his partner.

Losing her.

Forever.

* * *

NYC, 2018 -a few weeks later-

She picks up her phone and puts it back down, then picks it up again. She's been standing there for the last 15 minutes unable to carry out the simple action. At this point, she is afraid that paralegals and the partners passing by might think the firm's COO is going insane. She touches her forehead with her left hand and takes in the panoramic view of the city. Indecision, a trait that had never been a part of her, is one that now riddles her every step when it comes to him. Rachel had told her not to call him nor Jessica but she doesn't feel confident following the junior partner's instruction. Not having Harvey at Mike and Rachel's wedding makes absolutely no sense. They're family after all!

She closes her eyes and her lips set in a thin line of determination as her finger hits the first name on her Favorites list. The line doesn't ring for long when she hears his smooth baritone say her name. He's back to making that inflection between the two syllables that makes her heart flutter. And she can picture the smile that draws on his face whenever he does.

"Harvey," she begins and clears her throat.

"What is it, Donna? You sound nervous," he interrupts, "is everything alright? Zane hasn't backed out, has he?"

"No, it's nothing like that," she hesitates for a second and then says, "It's just... Mike and Rachel decided to move up the wedding and it will take place tomorrow evening. Can you be back by then? I've already arranged your travel itinerary in case you can…"

There is a momentary silence before he finally says, "send it to my phone."

"Will do!" she says not really knowing how he feels about this. His voice sounds tired but determined.

"And Donna..." he stalls.

"Yes?" she asks a frown on her face.

"You're still the maid of honor, right?" he asks almost in a whisper as though others have stepped into the room he's in.

She doesn't understand why he's asking something he already knows would never change but humors him with an answer, "Yes... why?"

"No reason...I just wanted to double check," he says and there is slight humor in his voice, "see you tomorrow, Donna."

"See you then, Harvey," and she hangs up more confused than ever.

Maybe he had wanted to know if the attire had changed, but Harvey never asks such things. He always knows what to wear. Shrugging it off, she goes back to work instead. Like the famous quote in the book: there was so much to do and so little time!

* * *

She's about to leave the office the next day so she can change in her apartment before heading to the reception venue. There were always last details to go over as usual in these sort of events. But the office phone rings and she stops to pick up the last order of the day. It happens to be the front desk informing that there is someone here to deliver a package. Frowning, she let's the front desk attendant allow the courier up so she can sort out whatever mistake this is about. She hasn't ordered anything and her dress is at home along with a pair of elegant shoes and other accessories waiting for her to arrive.

"Ms. Paulsen?," the fashionably dressed young man asks as he stands at her office door.

"Come in, please," she signals for him to do so and awaits.

"Mr. Specter sent this special delivery for you," he says as he places a small box on top of her desk and hands her a small envelope, "if you please sign this I'll be out of your hair. I see you were about to step out."

She signs the electronic form and watches the young man leave after saying goodbye.

Donna picks up the box and frowns. She then opens it carefully and is surprised to find a couple of beautiful long pendant earrings, very similar to the ones she had bought for her last birthday using his card. But these were solid and covered in mini diamonds which reflected brightly against the evening light which still filtered through her windows.

Delicately placing them back in the box, she picks up the envelope and pulls out a card. Her hand goes to her lips as she reads the brief note.

_Donna,_

_I know the last few weeks have tested our friendship, our partnership and care we have for each other. Please receive these as a symbol of my everlasting trust and affection. See you later._

_Harvey_

_P.S. I know I'm not the best gift giver but I took a cue from the last pair you bought from your favorite jewelry store. I hope I chose well._

Donna re-reads the note and feels her eyes begin to water. Picking up the earrings again, she smiles. For once Harvey had done it right.

She takes out her phone and sends him a brief message:

_Thank you, Harvey. They are beautiful. And, I'm also glad to have my friend back_.

She picks up the box, the small card and turns off her desk light ready to leave when a ping announces an incoming message. Taking out her phone out as she walks out towards the elevator she smiles when she sees its a message from him.

_Likewise, Donna. Glad you liked them. I'm about to land. See you at the venue._


	6. Read Analyze Fix Part II

_A/N: Well, this is it! I hope you have enjoyed this fic. I'm forever grateful for your kind words expressed via reviews or dm's. It's been an honor writing for you all, and to do so through the world of this fantastic couple. I own nothing except a great imagination and humble words. _

**Ch.5 Read. Analyze. Fix - Part II**

_Cortland, early 2000's_

"C'mon sweetie, take another picture with me and your dad…" her mother's bubbly voice carries through the crowd and Donna's eyes meet Nana's which urge her to comply with her mother's request. That is the last thing she wants to do but Donna doesn't dare disappoint her sweet, loving Nana.

Standing in the middle, between her mother and father, Donna tries her hardest to smile as naturally as possible. Her Grandmother stands behind the camera and signals when she's ready to snap the picture. And as soon as the picture is taken, Donna disengages from both of her parents' arms and walks towards Nana.

"Now I need a picture with you Nana… Without you, it wouldn't have been possible for me to be here after all!" Donna says as she takes the camera from Nana and hands it over to her mother. Her grandmother gives her a pointed look as though reminding her to be polite but Donna ignores it, instead she stands next to Nana and pulls her close in a side hug while signaling her mother to take the picture.

Smiling into the camera, Donna and Nana's similar features are captured in a photograph she now keeps in an elegant frame above her mantle. One Donna likes to stare at from time to time and be reminded of her Grandmother's kind and wise soul. After all, Nana had been the person who had given her the hope and the strength to carry on with her life during those difficult times.

Hours later, after a difficult celebratory lunch with her parents, Donna is back at the bench near the pond, her favorite thinking spot, looking out into the fading dusk. The playful sunlight painting the clouds in hues of warm yellow, orange, and lavender against the blue sky. She enjoys the sight and wonders what the future holds. She's already informed Nana that she will be moving to New York City and will try her luck there. But Nana being Nana, has already talked to a former friend of hers and has secured an interview for Donna at the District Attorney's office. Her reasoning being that between going to auditions and becoming a famous Broadway name, Donna needs a stable job that pays the bills. She knows Nana is right but a myriad of emotions have taken hold of her: excitement combined with trepidation, a sense of adventure and thrill for the unknown but also sadness because she will leave Nana behind.

"Is this seat taken?" Nana's sweet voice interrupts her thoughts and she smiles at the older lady. Scooting over, she makes space for Nana on the bench.

"What's on your mind Donna-bear? I could see that frown from afar," and she reaches out to touch Donna's forehead as though trying to rid it of the creases that had formed there.

Donna smiles and sighs, "Just thinking about the future, Nana… Mostly worried about it but hoping I have it in me to succeed."

"I understand," Nana begins as she looks out into the darkening skies, "Life after college...Adulthood, is a whole new world. But think of it this way, wherever it is life takes you, Donna-bear, I know you'll make it work! After all, you're my granddaughter and you take after me."

"You really think so?" Donna asks, hesitation marking her words.

"Donna, I will give you some words of advice. Words, I should've given your mother, but I think it would've been wasted breath on her… But you my dear, I know you will listen."

"Nana, you know I'm all ears when it comes to your advice. Tell me…"

Nana pulls Donna in a hug and kisses her forehead, pretty much the same way she used to do when Donna was a teen.

"Nana, I'm not a baby anymore…" Donna complains in a teasing tone.

"Don't I know it, Donna-bear… Just let me enjoy these last days with you before you go off into the real world. So, do you want to hear my words of advice or not?"

Donna can only nod, unable to say anything because there's a lump in her throat and tears pooling in her eyes.

Nana sighs and holds one of Donna's hands and squeezes it offering her strength.

"Rule #1 in the Book of Nana: _#1 Don't ever apologize for who you are._ Be you. That's all that matters. _#2 Relationships are a a two-way street._ If you give something you are allowed to demand something in return. Same goes with trust and loyalty. _#3 Don't allow anyone to put limitations on you._ Be it your brain, your intuition or your beauty. You're a bright, beautiful young woman, wise beyond her years and with so much to offer. No one should ever make you feel any less. You hear me? _#4 If disappointment strikes, let it go and move onto the next challenge. _Chances are, you will succeed at something else tenfold. Learn from it, but don't waste a lifetime over analyzing it. _#5 Never trust anyone who claim they don't want anything. _Everyone wants something, they just try to hide it… this is true for women in particular. Find what they want, what they like and the world will be yours. #6, I believe is the most important one, _learn to read, analyze and fix, _You've already got this uncanny ability to read people Donna-bear, now it's just a matter to fine-tune your abilities to analyze… you just need to have a clear, objective mindset and then you will find the way to fix any situation you face. They say mind should be over heart but I believe they go hand in hand. And you my dear, have a bright mind, great intuition and the biggest heart I've ever known… Don't ever lose faith in yourself," Nana points a finger at Donna's forehead.

Donna turns to look at Nana and she can see that there are unshed tears in the older lady's eyes. Hazel on hazel they look at each other and then allow their tears fall. It downs on Donna then that with these words Nana is catapulting her into adulthood, releasing her to evolve into the woman she needs to become. She also realizes that Nana is more than her grandmother… She's Donna's most trusted advisor and her most fervent advocate, and the voice of reason that will forever guide her through life... The person who's loving arms will always make her feel protected, cherished and loved. So she reaches out for Nana and squeezes her into a heartfelt hug.

"Thank you, Nana, for everything" her voice comes out muffled against Nana's shoulder.

"Anytime, Donna-bear," Nana's sweet voice comes in a broken whisper, "anytime."

* * *

_NYC, 2018_

She always feels safe in his arms.

Arms that are strong and dependable.

Shoulders that are firm, solid, secure.

She always loves how being in them makes her feel.

His warmth surrounding her.

Like a cocoon, protecting her against the harshness of the world.

His breath on her neck, and his cologne mixed with the essence that is so him, enveloping her whole.

Familiar yet foreign, close and distant at the same time.

His left hand clasping hers while his right sits low on her back. His thumb caressing, more than once, the nude spot where the thin, irregular straps of her dress meet. She gets goosebumps every single time his fingers touch her bare skin. And Donna can't help but feel slightly self-conscious because this dress required her to go braless, and her nipples have been hard since the moment they came together for the first dance. She doesn't know if he's doing it on purpose or if it's an unconscious act as they sway to the music. One thing for sure is that Donna is thankful for the romantic lighting above the dance floor because she's sure her skin is flushed. She just hopes that it's at least partially hidden by the soft hues the light casts over them.

They had bid the young married couple goodbye a while ago now, but Harvey had asked her for a couple more dances. Probably feeling the loss of his best friend, Donna had complied with his request, hoping it would ease his pain.

His deep voice interrupts her thoughts and nearly makes her jump but he holds her closer and caresses her back in comfort.

"You did an incredible job tonight, Donna," he says, admiration lacing his voice. She can feel him smile against her cheek. They're slow dancing to a series of John Coltrane melodies the band plays for the last couples that are still on the dance floor.

"Thank you, Harvey," she says in almost a whisper and she feels him move away, his brown gaze settling on hers.

"You are amazing, Donna," he whispers, his fingers coming up to grab a loose copper strand that had fallen over face, and slides it behind her ear.

She looks down, and now she knows the flush is probably intensifying. But her chin is captured by his thumb and index finger and he forces her to keep looking at him.

"What do you say if we skip the last dance and have a drink at my place?" she can see his pupils become darker, and as though hypnotized by his voice and intensity of his stare, she nods in agreement.

Releasing his hold on her back, his right hand drops to hold her left one. Their fingers sliding together as he continues to look into her hazel eyes. He then takes a step and guides her through the dance floor towards the exit. Donna knows what this means, and it's so cliché but she doesn't care because this is Harvey, and she's waited long enough for this to happen again.

"Harvey Specter!" the loud, booming voice travels through the ballroom and makes them stop. "I believe we need to talk important business now that you're here," Robert Zane, father of the bride and newest name partner, is purposely walking towards them.

Harvey turns to look at Donna and she recognizes the gesture he makes. He's apologetic and his eyes are expressing just how sorry he is. She squeezes his hand, her thumb caressing his knuckles and nods her head, telling him it is alright. He shakes his head, and she can see his jaw clench as his mouth narrows, annoyed at the interruption.

"What do you say we sit down and have a glass of Scotch, Harvey?" Zane asks, not realizing he's interrupting a private moment.

Donna squeezes his hand again and Harvey turns to look at Robert then.

"Sure, Robert," is all he says.

"I'm going to check some last details with the attendants and the band," Donna softly says as she loosens her hand from his hold. But Harvey hangs on to it, not releasing her fingers just yet as he apologetically whispers, "Have Ray drive you home when you're done..."

She looks up at him and she can see that Harvey's eyes are contrite and her face drops.

He doesn't seem very excited at the prospect either but adds, "This might take longer than expected. Please, Donna...let him take you home..."

She nods in acceptance, her hands which are now free, coming together in front of her dress and he knows that she's back to being Donna Paulsen, COO extraordinaire.

"Thanks Harvey," her voice is soft but has a business-like edge to it as she speaks, "see you tomorrow at work."

And she walks away in the direction of the dance floor. She doesn't get a chance to see how he closes his eyes, his hands fisting at his sides in frustration. Letting out a deep exhale, he then turns around, and heads towards Robert Zane.

* * *

_NYC, early 2019_

_How would she be able to fix this when her heart was too deeply implicated and her mind too obscured by her emotions?_

This question has been bouncing in her head over and over again. Especially more so now, after Thomas had left. For years she hadn't been able to explain her relationship with Harvey to herself, much less to anyone…

Their bond something almost indestructible. Their loyalty and trust as deep as the love they shared for one another.

Love?

Was this love?

They had a quiet understanding of sorts, a closeness and devotion, a deeply shared affection for each other and an intimacy that no one understood but themselves.

But love?

Was it really love?

She often wondered so…

And after dating Thomas, she realizes that what she has with Harvey is unique. True, Thomas is a gentleman, caring and always at the ready to care for her needs. But it never compares. Never compares to what Harvey makes her feel…

Thomas is affectionate and warm.

Harvey is passion and devotion.

There's an intensity to Harvey as a whole, whether in his words, his actions or his love-making that captured her heart and soul once and has never left her.

And, she acknowledges fully now, that it will probably never leave her…

Her phone buzzes signaling an iMessage and she knows it's from him. But Donna remains still, she has been sitting down by the couch for god knows how long, lost in a contemplative mood after refusing to attend the hearing. The phone chimes again and she finally reaches out for the device which has been sitting on the rectangular coffee table. She swipes down to see the notifications tabs and his first message is short and clear: "Where are you?" But it's the second one the one that tears her heart in two... "I need you here with me, Donna."

The phone slips from her fingers and falls on the carpeted floor with a thump. But she can't see it, her eyes are flooded with tears. Tears she has held back for so long and now she's allowing to flow freely. Her hands come up to cover her face as she feels the sobs rock her body, her heart, her soul…

_How could she ever fix this? _

_How could she when she can't find the strength within her to even face him after what she's done?_

* * *

_NYC, early 2016_

Her heart hurts for him.

She knows and understands how much this means to him. This isn't just about his credibility as an attorney, nor fear of losing the title as the best closer in the New York City. This goes deeper and she is one of the few people who knows that this is the side Harvey Specter seldom shows. This is the Harvey Specter that cares and loves and is selfless. And she doesn't want him to fall on his sword again and that's exactly what she'd told him earlier when he'd dropped by her apartment close to midnight. But she fears he won't have the faith to hold himself back from recklessly throwing it all away.

She takes the last drink of her Scotch, which still sits on the small round dining table. Donna thinks back to the few moments during their time together that she's seen him display any self-doubt: when Cameron Dennis threatened his job, the time he had tried to make up with his mother and had messed it up royally, and when Andrew Malick had threatened her liberty and well-being. And he'd pulled through those times because she had been there for and with him. But this time around she feels apprehensive and doesn't know if her words tonight will be enough...

Donna had asked him to stop second-guessing himself. And she's never been closer to outright telling Harvey how she feels about him than tonight. Because telling him that she thinks he's worthy and doesn't want to lose him is almost equivalent to saying she loves him...

Staring at the empty tumbler, she allows the tears to flow.

Because she has more than faith in him...

Because Harvey Specter is in her heart and her mind at all times…

Because she loves him…

_Unconditionally._

* * *

_NYC, early 2019_

_Unconditionally._

That's how she loves him.

_Can he feel it?_

The sensual raspiness of his facial hair against her neck makes her lose her train of thought.

His lips and teeth capturing her earlobe in a wet sensual bite.

His hands clasped behind her back pulling her closer against him.

_Intensely._

That's how she loves him.

_Does he realize that?_

His hands pull down on her cardigan.

His touch burning her skin as he trails kiss after kiss up her neck.

His body pushes her further against the table and wall.

Grinding.

Arousing.

Carnal.

And she can feel him against her pulsating center.

The thin satiny material of her pajamas bottoms adding a sweet friction between them.

Strong.

Firm.

Substantial.

His hands now sliding down her body.

Caressing.

Grazing.

Stroking.

The passion and intensity of their kisses rising.

The sweet sensual friction between them escalating.

Her hands reaching for his hair.

Hands going down his back.

Nails sensuously scratching.

_Eternally._

_Can he tell?_

His eyes set on hers, their hands come together as one.

Fingers intertwining.

Hearts colliding.

Souls enlaced.

_Forever._

Her eyes set on his; sensual smile on her lips.

_He knows_.

Holding his hand in hers, thumb stroking his knuckles, she guides him.

She switches hands as they enter the bedroom but her eyes remain on his.

Pupils equally dilated.

A flush on their skin.

The sensual smirk on her lips...

Pulled out of the trance when she tugs his tie and releases the knot...

He reaches out, one hand on her neck while the other pulls her closer in a ravishing kiss.

He suddenly stops and searches her eyes.

_Does she know?_

Her loyalty has made him invincible.

Her faith given him the power to believe.

Her love showed him the way.

Time and time again.

She offers him a smile and her hazel eyes speak without words.

_She knows._

Because this is Donna Paulsen after all.

She reads.

She analyzes.

She fixes.

She knows everything.

Kissing her again they get lost in a world that is inherently theirs.

Because she is his.

And he is hers...

* * *

_—_

_—_

_P.D. What do you guys think? Should I write an epilogue? XO-Bellesrad_


	7. Epilogue

_A/N: Well, this is the end to this wonderful ride. Thank you all for joining me throughout this process. I just hope this epilogue fulfills your expectations. As always, I don't own these amazing characters. I only weave humble words for you.- XO, Bellesrad._

* * *

**Epilogue**

_Cortland, Fall 2019_

"Donna! Harvey! This is a nice surprise," Nana says as she greets them at the door and hugs each of them before letting them into the house.

"I talk to this one all the time but it's been what... Two-three months since your last visit?" Nana mentions as they walk towards the sitting area of her open plan kitchen, her favorite spot to entertain.

"More like four, Nana, and I apologize but we've been busy with so many adjustments at the firm," Donna replies as she takes a seat, Harvey following suit and Nana moves around getting cups ready and begins to make some coffee.

"I heard on the news that there was some sort of issue with Rachel's dad, is that right Harvey?" Nana asks as she begins to take out some of her homemade cookies out of the oven.

"That's right, Nana… Fortunately, everything worked out in the end," was his brief reply while his hand reaches out for Donna's and squeezes it. If he could avoid this conversation he would at all costs. There is no need to worry Nana with the details. Donna nods at him and squeezes his hand back in silent understanding.

"So what brings you both here? I see all that hand holding and an old lady like myself starts to get ideas and such…" she says with a smile, her hazel eyes sparkling as she takes a seat at the table.

Donna smiles at Harvey. "Well, we're here to tell you that we decided to give having a relationship a try, Nana," she discloses and Harvey nods, both of them waiting for Nana's response.

Nana raises her hands above her head and exclaims, "it was about darn time! I thought I'd be dead before seeing the day this would happen!"

They all share in the laughter and Harvey follows Nana to help her serve the coffee and bring the now cooled cookies as they chatter away. Donna just looks at them and smiles. Never would she have imagined this would happen: Harvey and her in a committed relationship much less sharing the news with her sweet, loving Nana.

Harvey is busy pouring coffee as Nana tells him about how there's a farmer's market she likes to visit that sells fresh strawberry jam. "Strawberries, you say, Nana?" Harvey asks as he winks at Donna and the young redhead shakes her head and gives him a pointed look.

"Yes! I'll make sure to pack a jar for you to take. It's tastes amazing, you'll see!" Nana says seemingly oblivious to the looks being shared by the couple.

"Oh, I bet! Strawberries are _my_ favorite fruit," he adds while giving Donna a suggestive look.

"That's, well, good to know... Now would you behave, Specter?" Nana says without even batting an eye at them and he winces. "Don't think I'm not aware of what you're doing. Here... help me take these plates to the table." Harvey easily complies and Donna can't help but love him even more so at taking her Nana's ribbing so well.

They share a relaxing yet animated conversation over coffee and cookies, Nana asking them about their lives in New York and sharing the latest developments in Cortland.

Harvey offers to help her clean up the kitchen. Donna then excuses herself saying she needs some fresh air and puts on her dark green coat. Nana and Harvey watch her walk out the back door and head for the pond. The fall foliage matches her hair and her form blends with the surroundings. Her hands are in her pockets and a smile is on her face as she takes the beauty of Nana's expansive backyard.

"She seems happy" Nana states as Harvey rinses the dishes and cutlery and hands these to her so she can place them in the dishwasher.

"I'm making sure she is, Nana," he says as he watches Donna through the large kitchen windows that overlook the pond area.

"I'm glad to hear that. And I see that she's also making you happy. I don't think I've ever seen you smile so much and be so at ease…" Nana tells him as she bumps her elbow against him in a playful fashion.

"She does," he says with certainty. Turning around to face Nana he adds, "which brings me to the question I've been meaning to ask you. Now that we're here, I'd like to take the opportunity to do so."

"This seems important, Harvey. What is it?" she asks as she puts down the kitchen towel and looks him straight in the eye.

"Well, remember how when you first met me all those years ago, you asked me what were my intentions with Donna?"

Nana nods and a sober frown forms on her face, "yes, I remember that..."

"Well, I wanted to tell you that my intentions are serious when it comes to Donna, and it might seem old-fashioned, but my Dad always said this is something that should be done...Nana, what I'm trying to say is that, well, I'd like to ask you for Donna's hand in marriage," Harvey says in earnest.

Nana's frown disappears and instead reaches out for his hands and squeezes them, a sweet smile on her face, hazel eyes sparkling with joy.

"Oh my! Of course, Harvey!" Nana exclaims and then a hand goes to her mouth, "oh my gosh! Does _she_ know?"

Harvey shakes his head no and smiles, relief in his eyes to know that Nana is happy for them.

"Are you going to propose today?" she gasps.

Harvey nods and feels the warmth of Nana's arms sweep him into a hug. No wonder Donna loves this woman so much! He realizes, she definitely gives the best motherly hugs.

"Then what are you waiting for? Go! Go tell that girl you love her and want her to be your wife!" Nana releases him and kisses his cheek. "You, Harvey Reginald Specter, have my blessing."

Happy tears flow down her face as she watches Harvey head towards the back door. He stops before walking out and turns to look at Nana.

"Thank you, Nana… I promise I'll take care of her and love her with all my heart."

She nods, certainty in her voice, as she replies, "I know you will, Harvey… I know you will."

He nods back at her, a smile on his face and heads out following Donna's short trail in the direction of the pond.

* * *

_NYC, mid 2024_

"Mommy?" the sweet voice of her daughter calls out from the door.

Donna puts down the book she was reading and looks at the pajama-clad 4-year old.

"What's wrong, sweetie? I thought you'd fallen asleep" Donna quietly asks and pats the space next to the bed signaling Lily to come in; she's careful about not waking 7-month old Gordon who's fast asleep on her chest.

"I think I'm having a terrible, bad, no good day," Lily recites the words from one of her favorite bedtime stories as she gets on the bed and goes into her mother's open arm.

"Do you want me to get involved, offer advice or listen to you, Lily-bear?" She sweetly asks as she stares into hazel eyes that remind her so much of her own. Lily frowns and pulls on the two plush rabbits that she carries around and hugs them as she thinks. Donna uses her hand to brush a strand of her daughter's silky red hair that had fallen on her face as she climbed the bed.

"Maybe just listen, mommy," her daughter finally replies and pats one of the bunny's ears.

"Ok, so tell me. What's bothering you?"

Lily purses her mouth and juts her chin out in a way that was so Harvey that it melts Donna's heart.

"Remember we read the book together in bed? The one with the father bunny and the kid bunny?" she asks Donna as her hands play with the soft ears of the stuffed animals.

"Yes, Lily-bear, we read _Guess how much I love you… _it's your favorite one," Donna replies a frown forming on her face and she realizes then where this is going.

"It reminded me of daddy…," Lily softly says, the hurt palpable in her little voice, "I miss daddy, mommy… when's he coming back?"

Donna gathers her daughter closer and kisses her head. Harvey's been away on business in Seattle for almost five days and Lily has been the most restless about his absence.

"Daddy is coming back tomorrow, Lily-bear. He's helping Uncle Mike and Aunt Rachel with some things but he's coming back soon," Donna explains and looks into her daughter's watery, expectant eyes.

"Let's do something," Donna says infusing happiness into her voice and smiling at her distraught daughter, "why don't we make a short video and you can tell Daddy how much we love and miss him?"

Lily's eyes light up and she smiles, "Yes! Let's do it, mommy!"

"Ok, but let's not be too loud or Gordon will wake up crying," Donna tells her as she reaches out for her phone which was sitting on the night table.

"Yes, mommy, I promise I'll be quiet" Lily whispers and Donna hands her the phone once she's set it to record.

"You know what to do, Lily-bear...just touch the red button when you're ready," Donna lovingly says, and watches her daughter maneuver the device with ease as she records herself telling her Dad how much she's missing him.

"You, too, mommy...tell daddy that you miss him. And Gordon, too!" Lily excitedly says as she pans the phone towards Donna and her little brother. Donna waves a hand and smiles while she says, "we miss you, honey. Gordon says hi from his dreams. Come back soon."

Lily blows a kiss at her dad, then stops the camera and smiles, and returning the phone to Donna says, "Done, mommy. We can send it now."

Donna sends the recording to Harvey as Lily watches. "Ok, it's sent, baby," she sweetly tells her daughter, "what do you say we put Gordon in his room, then we go to yours and read another bedtime story together?"

Lily nods happily, grabs her two plush rabbits and gets off the bed. Putting on her slippers she walks besides Donna as they head into the hallway leading to their rooms. They put Gordon in his crib and Donna grabs the baby monitor, holds a hand out for her daughter and the head out for Lily's bedroom.

They're rounding the corner when they both see Harvey walking down the hallway in their direction. Donna's heart flips and a smile draws on her lips and their eyes meet. He's smiling back at her and his eyes soon turn to their young daughter who can't believe he's here.

Lily let's go off Donna's hand and pushes the two rabbits into her mother's hands before running towards Harvey while shouting, "Daddy!" Harvey lifts her in his arms and kisses Lily in the playful way he always does.

"Daddy, stop...it tickles," Lily giggles and Harvey stops.

"I got a message saying that someone missed me," he says looking into his daughter's lively hazel eyes.

He is always in awe of their children. Lily is definitely a mini Donna. From the red hair to the hazel eyes to the witty charisma she exudes. She did have the Specter temper though, and Donna loves to blame him for the stubborn streak their daughter could often display. Gordon on the other hand, has blond hair and is the mellow one in the family. The two moles on his left brow and the brown eyes giving him _the_ Specter look. Donna always says that she could swear that when Gordon gets super serious, and if he could speak, the baby boy would most likely say, "Donna" in that tone of voice Harvey uses when annoyed. He smiles at the thought and soon enough his daughter's voice brings him back from his musings.

"I missed you a lot, daddy...what took you so long?" Lily asks as she holds his face with her two small hands, forcing him to look at her.

"I was with Uncle Mike and Aunt Rachel, baby. We had to help some children that were sick and needed to go to the hospital," he explains.

Lily frowns, "why don't their mommies and daddies take them. You're _my_ daddy."

Harvey turns to look at Donna and she smiles at him and shrugs. He's on his own with this one.

"Well, these children have mommies and daddies but they can't pay the hospital so Uncle Mike was trying to find ways to help them," he says and Lily's frown disappears.

"Daddy," she says in an admonishing tone, "you should've taken Mommy. She knows how to help people the best!"

Harvey smiles and nods his head, "I'll take Mommy next time, I promise."

"Good!" Lily says and yawns, "I love you Daddy but I'm sleepy."

Harvey puts his daughter down but she grabs for his hand and tugs on it.

"C'mon Daddy, you can read the bunny story so I can sleep."

Donna walks towards them and hands Lily her plush toys, "why don't you get in bed Lily-bear?" Donna leans down to kiss her cheek and adds, "Daddy will be there in a minute."

Lily agrees and skips off in the direction of her bedroom knowing Harvey will be there shortly.

"Hey," she whispers and her eyes meet Harvey's.

He takes her hand in his and pulls her into a kiss.

"I've missed you, too," she softly says and he recognizes that smirk smile of hers.

He steals another kiss and says, "let me put Lily to bed, check on Gordon and I'll be there with you."

"Promises, promises," she sing-songs and begins to retreat, their hands not yet letting go off each other.

"I have yet to let you down, Donna Paulsen-Specter," he counters with a seductive smirk and her smile grows.

"You're an idiot," she tells him but brushes another kiss against his lips before moving away.

* * *

_Cortland, Fall 2019_

Donna smiles at Harvey as he comes to sit next to her. "I hope Nana didn't grill you about our relationship," she tells him her hand sliding into his open one and their fingers interlace with familiar ease. He kisses her knuckles and then replies, "She's over the moon with the news."

Donna laughs, "She's been asking me forever if you and I have finally decided to become an item. I think she's really been expecting this for some time now."

Harvey smiles at her confession and stares at their joined hands which Donna doesn't fail to notice.

"You know, I once told Louis that you and I were like this," she tells him and she squeezes his hand.

"True," he responds and looks into her eyes, "we have been like that for a long time."

She leans against his shoulder and sighs, "I'm glad we found our way together, Harvey."

"Me too, Donna..." his voice is deep with emotion and kisses her forehead.

Donna closes her eyes and smiles. "I wish we could stay like this forever," she whispers.

"Why don't we?" he asks.

"Why don't we what?" she repeats and opens her eyes to look at him.

"Why don't we stay like this forever?" he pauses and takes in the beauty of her face,"marry me, Donna..."

Donna looks at him in surprise but when she sees the sincere look in his face, she says, "you're being serious..."

"As a lawsuit," he smiles and she releases their conjoined hands to punch his arm.

But she's surprised when he stands up and then drops on one knee.

"Harvey, what are you doing?" she asks feeling slightly flustered.

He takes her hands in his and looks into her eyes as he says, "Donna, from the minute I saw you, I knew you were my match. And yes, I fell for you right then and there. And I can't imagine my life without you: I am who I am thanks to you, you're the voice of reason that guides me, and your faith in me has made me a better person. I can't be me without you." He pauses and his eyes are filled with emotion as he says, "Donna Paulsen, I love you. Would you marry me?"

Donna's eyes fill with tears and she wipes her face with her free hand as a couple dare fall down her cheeks.

"Yes, Harvey Specter, I will marry you," her voice is laced with joy and affection.

Harvey takes out a small box and opens it before her. She covers her mouth with her hands and stares at the ring in awe and then smiles at him.

"I might've had some help from a certain best friend of yours," he says and smirks, "it was not an easy feat when she's more than 5000 miles away…"

He takes the 5 carat oval-cut diamond ring with brilliant cut pavé diamonds and slides the platinum band in her ring finger.

"It's beautiful Harvey," she whispers and pulls him in for a kiss.

"I love you, Donna and I can't wait to marry you and have mini you's running all around," he says as he stands and brings her up along with him.

She laughs and covers her face with her hands.

"About that…," she begins and he's looking at her in surprise, "I think we might have that coming our way sooner than expected... Please say something."

Harvey reaches for her and kisses her deeply. He can't believe that all his dreams are coming true at once.

"Donna," he says, sincerity in his eyes, "I love you so much!"

"Let's go tell Nana, she's going to be thrilled!" he says and they walk hand in hand back towards the house.

"Did she say yes?" Nana asks. Her back is to them as they enter through the back door, busy as she pours champagne into glass flutes.

"Nana, you knew?" Donna asks in amazement and turns to look at Harvey who winks at her.

"Hey! Leave the man alone! He had enough courage to ask this old lady for your hand in marriage. That's very honorable in my book," Nana says and hands him a flute and another filled with orange juice to Donna.

Donna stares at her in disbelief again and before she says anything Nana tells her, "Oh Donna-bear! You forget I only had daughters and I'm a woman myself. Of course I knew it the minute you walked in through the door."

She then turns to Harvey who's smiling at the exchange between them and salutes them with her flute, "Congratulations Harvey and Donna! I can't wait to see you build a life together. And I certainly can't wait to see you both dealing with a Specter-Paulsen baby. Cheers!"

* * *

_NYC, mid 2024_

After checking on Gordon, Harvey heads out to look for Donna and finds her in the study. She has poured them a couple of tumblers with his favorite whiskey. She's clad in her silk pajama bottoms and sleeveless top, a mauve cardigan shielding her from the chill of the night. He loves seeing her like this and he leans down to kiss her as he takes the tumbler from her hand.

"Are they both out?" she asks as soon as he sits next to her on the black leather couch.

"They are. And Lily sent a message: 'that she loves us to the moon and back'. "

"Did you have to kiss Manolo and Jimmy Choo?" she asks a smile on her lips and takes a sip of her drink.

Harvey chuckles and responds, "I did… I can't believe she named those two fluffy rabbits after your favorite brands of shoes."

"A girl knows quality from an early age," Donna teases him but then looks into his loving eyes. Reaching out for his hand, she squeezes it.

"I missed you, Harvey," her voice is quiet, serious.

He interlocks his fingers in hers and brings her hand up for a kiss, "I missed you more, Donna."

He then puts his tumbler on the table and takes hers as well. He reaches out both his hands and pulls her up from her sitting position.

"Dance with me?" he asks as he pulls her against his body and then kisses her lips.

"To what music?" she asks in return, her eyes holding a humorous glint.

He smiles back and releases her for a minute. Heading for the record player he turns it on and searches for one of his father's records.

The soft jazzy melody fills the room and he walks back to her.

"Problem solved," he says and takes her in his arms again.

Leaning her head against his shoulder, she sighs. The lack of high heels making her stand a few inches shorter. The height difference somehow making her feel safe and cared for in his arms. Protected and cherished is how he always makes her feel. And she loves him for that and so much more.

"I really missed this," she softly says and breathes in the essence that is so familiar, so him.

He kisses her neck and replies, "I missed it, too. I missed the kids. This house. You…"

She looks up at him and she offers him that sensual smile of hers. And understanding what her eyes and body language request, Harvey leans forward and kisses her lips.

"I love you Donna," he whispers as he moves to place an open, wet kiss on her neck and sucks on the flesh there, loving the taste of her.

"I love you, too, Harvey," she breathlessly says as her hands slide around his neck, her left hand caressing the back of his head, while her short nails threading through his hair send a rush of blood throughout his flesh. Both his hands come to rest on her waist as he pulls her closer against him.

Wanting to feel more.

Wanting them closer.

Their kisses become frantic yet remain tender.

Passionate yet reverent.

Emotional and seductive.

Something so intrinsically them.

This is their dance.

This is their rhythm.

And they continue to sway, kiss and caress in this easy cadence that is their life.

* * *

_THE END_


	8. Us

_I know that last week's Suits episode left us all heartbroken and confused. I felt it, too and it hit especially close to my heart. Those of you who are close to me know that I lost my Nanna a month and a half ago... and with her gone, so was my voice and inspo to write. __I guess the episode helped me figure out that I need to process my grief via writing. So this one is for the Lily's and Nanna's in our lives. And also for each and every one of you.- XX Bellesrad (LorenC)_

* * *

_Upper West Side, Fall__ 2020_

The foreign yet familiar sound wakes him and he's out of bed on auto-pilot. His eyes are not even fully open as he rounds the bed and makes it out of their bedroom and into hers almost on instinct. It's as soon as he reaches the threshold that he fully awakens to take in the pretty features of the room, and his gaze immediately directs to the source of his attention. The hardwood floors feel cool and familiar as he walks forward, his brown eyes fully alert as he reaches the crib to check on their two month-old daughter.

His voice is still husky from sleep but the baby seems to recognize him because she quietens down as soon as she hears his voice. Her little arms moving, body squirming and her hazel eyes wide open looking at him with what seems both glee and curiosity. For someone who woke him up with a wail, he thinks, she seems pretty content with having him for company.

"What is it baby girl?" he asks as he leans one elbow against the crib while his other hand reaches out to pat his daughter's belly. She moves both her legs and arms, and releases a squeak of happiness as she keeps looking at him.

"You want me to pick you up?" he smiles at her and reaches both arms into the crib, gathers her gently as she emits tiny sounds of delight.

"You're just like your mother, you know?" he says as he holds his daughter in one arm and touches her tiny button nose with a finger. The baby closes her eyes on instinct and opens her mouth to gurgle.

"Yes, just like her...so vocal but so sweet. Here, let's see what's your business."

He places her on the diaper changer table and undoes her jammies and checks her diaper. She watches his every move as she shakes her little arms and legs which causes him to smile at her.

"Ok, stop squirming… And, the verdict is in! Ms. Specter, it does seem like you need a change… What will it be? We have hearts in assorted colors, pretty kitties and I think this is Cookie Monster or wait, is it Elmo?," he tells her and in a whisper adds, "I think Elmo is the red dude and he looks a little too perky to be on a baby diaper!...What do you say we pick the kitties? They look soft and cute like you."

The baby girl fidgets happily when she hears his voice, and releases another quiet gurgle as though agreeing with him. He talks to her throughout the entire process, and he gets a few mumbles and a little kicks here and there as he works. He's slowly becoming a pro but he's not as fast as Donna seems to be. However, their baby girl doesn't seem to mind. She's too engrossed in sucking her little hands as she seemingly pays close attention to every word he says.

She yawns as he picks her up after clasping the onesie pajamas back on. He looks for a clean pacifier and offers it to her which she gleefully accepts. Her large hazel eyes continue to stare at him as she sucks happily.

"Do you want me to sing something for you, sweetheart? Will it help you sleep?" he whispers and sits on the comfortable slider chair while holding her in his arms. She stops sucking as soon she hears his voice and concentrates on his features. He starts vocalizing. His deep and gravelly voice managing to sing the melody, but his little daughter doesn't seem to mind if he's a little off tune at first. The vibration coming from his chest on to her little body enough to make her long, curly eyelashes flutter as she continues to suck the pacifier at a slower but content pace.

"_Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high and the dreams that you dream of once in a lullaby...Somewhere over the rainbow…_"

* * *

Donna feels tears pooling in her eyes when she hears the deep, rich baritone as he sings to their daughter.

"..._where trouble melts like lemon drops high above the chimney top... that's where you'll find me_…"

She hears rustling and knows that he's probably laying her back in her crib. She usually falls asleep fast once she gets fed or her diaper changed at this wee hour of the morning.

It's been a surprise, but so far, parenting has come easier to them than they thought it would. Working together has definitely helped ease the burden and allowed them to get enough rest without neglecting their baby's needs. Although, she still remembers the first week back from the hospital and she closes her eyes and winces at the memory.

That first week had been a test to their patience, love and resilience. But finding a rhythm and designing a schedule that worked for all three of them turned out pretty well in the end. She'd told herself that if she could handle being the COO to a prestigious law firm with over a hundred employees, reign in the ambitious and impulsive name partners, operate through the ups and downs of their managing partner on top of being married to the one and only, Harvey Specter...she convinced herself that she could manage dealing with a baby. And even though she'd anticipated it, dealing with two Specters had proven to be tricky. Fortunately, the older one seemed to be more understanding and willing to help.

"What are _you_ smiling about?" he asks as he moves the baby monitor closer to them on the night table and leans over to kiss his wife.

"Just thinking that I have the most wonderful husband and daughter," she tells him as he gets under the covers and pulls her close against his body; his head laying in that familiar spot on her shoulder as he breathes her in.

"Hmmm, I can be wonderful..." he mumbles, his face getting lost among the long red tresses as he snuggles against her neck. The luxurious scent of her body wash and that essence that is so Donna soothing him back to sleep. A contented sigh, very similar to the one his daughter emitted just a few minutes ago, leaves his lips and his breathing evens out.

She knows that he's probably dozing off and reaches out a hand to drag against the back of his head, her fingers smoothing over his soft hair.

"I love you, Harvey…" she whispers and closes her eyes. His warmth and quiet breathing soon sending both her mind and body into a restful sleep.

* * *

_Cortland, Early 2020_

"Seriously, Nanna… Sometimes I just want to strangle him!"

Nanna watches Donna pace back and forth, her face flushed, hands moving here and there in annoyance. She's been like that ever since arriving mid-morning to visit her. At first she'd refused to say anything on their way home from the train station. But once she'd arrived to the familiar setting she'd broken lose. So Nanna takes a sip of her coffee and allows her favorite granddaughter to release the emotions. At almost 20 weeks pregnant, she understands that Donna might be feeling emotional due to all the hormonal and body changes she's going through..

"Have some more apple juice, Donna-bear and sit down," she finally tells her red-headed equal.

"I don't want apple juice… I want coffee! Or wine! And I want my boobs to go back to normal!" she almost shouts as she cups both her breasts with her hands, "I want to be able to eat whatever I want without the heartburn… And… and... I want Harvey to stop being such an idiot!" she rambles on before sitting down with a plop and takes a sip of her juice.

Nanna reaches out for her hand and squeezes it while offering her a kind smile.

"Donna-bear, you need to calm down. For the sake of that precious baby you're carrying and for yourself. Even for Harvey… God knows he's a good man but at least he's trying hard to understand, you have to give him credit for that."

Donna puffs hair out in annoyance but her eyes soften as she says, "I know, Nanna… But it's just that sometimes, gosh! He's can be so hard-headed."

Nanna leans back on her chair and takes a sip of her coffee.

"Sweetie, you knew this from the get go...Heck! You've known it for the past what? 15-16 years? And you still married him… That's gotta tell you something about the depth of love you feel for him and the one he feels for you. And you're starting a family! You have to figure things out now before this beautiful baby girl arrives…"

Donna frowns and pouts, "we don't know the baby's gender yet… We agreed to find out until the next appointment because we couldn't decide if we wanted to know yet or not."

"Nonsense! I don't need a damn sonogram to tell me I'm getting a great granddaughter," her Nanna chuckles as she shakes her head. "Have you started thinking about names?"

Donna closes her eyes, and leans her elbows on the table, resting her face in her hands.

"That was the argument that started it all… We easily decided on a name if the baby is a boy: Gordon James. Gordon after his Dad and James for Mike…"

"Sounds like wonderful choices," Nanna says and lets Donna continue.

"I told him we should name the baby Lily if it's a girl and he agreed. Then we began looking for a middle name and ended up arguing about it and never came to a decision… That was last night."

Nanna chooses to remain silent and continues to sip her coffee.

"She could easily go without one," Nanna finally says and her hazel eyes meet Donna's and shrugs then laughs, "just promise not to use Roberta...God knows your mom only named you that to annoy Jim!"

Donna laughs and says, "Well, Harvey already made me promise not to use that and then when I told him that's also your middle name he was sorry… Sometimes I think that man would've married you instead of me had he had the chance. He adores you!"

Nanna leans over the table and extends her hands out to Donna and squeezes the younger woman's as she says, "He loves me through you… He adores YOU not me. Look Donna, there's a time to gentle and there's a time to be firm. This time, it's a time to be gentle… Harvey is a good man. Sure he can be difficult at times, like all men are, but his love for you goes above all that. Be patient and understanding. He's gone through a fair share of difficulties and sadness. Don't forget that this is as new to him as it is to you. Parenthood is a big deal and it isn't an easy feat. And he's by himself. You have your mom, your dad...me to discuss feelings and thoughts. He has no one to fall back on, except for you…"

Donna's eyes fill up with tears and gives Nanna a bittersweet smile.

"You're right...Gosh! I'm so hormonal lately, it's like I can't even think, and my feelings are all over the place..."

Nanna releases Donna's hands and smiles.

"I know it can be challenging but I'll give you another piece of advice. Whenever you feel like you're at the end of the rope and are losing it, just take a deep breath and ask yourself: am I reacting to something I'm feeling right now or are these feelings rooted on something that happened in the past and I'm just reacting to that? It helps you recenter your thoughts and emotions and gain perspective."

Donna clears her throat and wipes the small tears that fell down her cheeks.

"I will, Nanna… Thanks for always knowing what I need."

"Talking about needs and stuff… Does Harvey know you're here?" she raises an eyebrow at her granddaughter while the young redhead shrinks in her chair as she shakes her head no.

"He's called several times but I let them all go to voicemail," she whispers and covers her face in embarrassment.

"Well, then it's a good thing I didn't," Nanna says as the doorbell chimes.

"I took the liberty of telling him you were here and he said he'd drive to pick you up." Donna's eyes open wide in surprise and opens her mouth to say something but Nanna interrupts.

"And before you get mad at me or him, remember what you promised!"

Donna nods and closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and then after a minute, she opens her eyes and smiles at Nanna.

"You were right," she says, "it works!"

Nanna smiles and squeezes Donna's shoulder.

"So what do you want to do, Donna-bear? Do you want to go open the door for him or do you want me to do it instead?"

Standing up, she says, "I'll do it... Wish me luck."

"You don't need luck… You love him and he loves you back, that's enough," Nanna says and winks at Donna, "I'll give you some privacy. Look me up in the garden when you're done."

* * *

_Upper West Side, early August 2020_

"Goodness gracious, Donna!" the older lady exclaims as she looks at the tiny bundle in her arms, "it's like looking at you when you were this many days old!"

"See! I told you, Donna! She's like a carbon copy of you," Harvey says his left eyebrow high, a smirk on his face.

Donna's hands shoot up, "Ok, ok, ok...you were right! Lily looks a lot like me but she definitely has your mouth and temper!"

Harvey who's sitting next to Nanna laughs and shakes his head. The baby squirms at the sound, yawns and opens then closes her eyes as though she knows they're referencing her.

"She's beautiful," Nanna says as she goes back to admiring the baby girl, "you've done it right Harvey and Donna. And Harvey, I'm sure Gordon and Lily would be proud. And they're probably watching from wherever they are..." She squeezes his hand and bumps her shoulder against him. Harvey just smiles and reaches a finger to touch his daughter's cheek, "I know they are, Nanna… I know they are.."

Donna's gaze shifts to the baby and Nanna can sense the sadness her comment brought.

"So… did you guys ever decide on a middle name for this beautiful baby girl?" she asks in hopes this brings them out of the introspective mood.

Donna laughs and says, "we did, Nanna but it took us what? Was it 3 or 4 arguments to get there?"

Harvey looks at his wife and smirks, "more like 20! but let's settle on 3… And then we finally figured out that it was right in front of our eyes."

"So what is it?" Nanna asks looking from Donna to Harvey who seemed both amused and smug at the same time, "I'm not getting any younger here… so spill!"

Donna nods at Harvey and he says, "We decided to name her Lily Elizabeth… Elizabeth is your first name and it's also Rachel's middle name, so we realized that it would make the perfect middle name for our daughter."

"That way we honor all of the wonderful women in our lives, and give our daughter the power your names carry to battle through life…" Donna adds and she can see the tears that form in her Nanna's eyes.

"What do you think, Nanna?" Harvey asks excitement in his eyes.

Nanna looks down at the sleeping baby in her lap and leans forward to kiss her forehead.

"Welcome to this world, Lily Elizabeth Specter Paulsen. May your life be blessed with all the love and happiness. I love you, baby girl."

She then turns to look at both Harvey and Donna, her hand reaching out to squeeze Harvey's "I'm absolutely honored and thank you for this… forever."

Nanna then turns to look at Lily Elizabeth, still in awe at how precious the baby is. Meanwhile, Donna and Harvey share a look of complicity laced with love and understanding. Like Mike would say, Team Darvey did it again. And Donna winks at Harvey and he gives her his characteristic Cheshire cat smirk. She then realizesin this moment that they'll be ok as they navigate through marriage and parenthood. Because they're no longer Harvey and Donna, nor Harvey or Donna. And even more so now, along with their baby daughter, they make an _us_. And as long as they're all together, she knows that everything will always be alright...


End file.
